Bugs Bunny doing play-by-play with Gerrit Cole pitching:
Cole’s MO recently has been simple: His teammates get a lead. Cole blows it.
The Pirates were up 3-0 last night. Cole almost gave up a grand slam in the sixth, when Los Angeles’ Adrian Gonzalez flew out to deepest center field. But in the seventh, Curtis Granderson did swat a granny off Cole, and the Dodgers went on to win 6-5 in 12 innings.
If chicks dig the long ball, they must love Cole. He’s an enabler. Patient zero. It too often looks like he’s serving up grapefruits for Home Run Derby.
Cole has allowed 27 HR this year, tenth-most in MLB. Twenty-seven dingers is a big number. If you literally kissed all those baseballs good-bye, you would need a huge supply of Chapstick.
Since you’ve got all that Chapstick, anybody who thinks Cole is an ace can kiss my big, fat, frumpy, bloated white ass. He’s not even close. On a good team, Cole is a No. 3 starter.