The Root Sports announcers made Andrew McCutchen sound like Roberto Clemente actually using a Golden Glove in RF at Fenway Park last night, and he did make some good plays. Cutch saved three runs.

That makes Cutch the villain, because his prevent defense allowed the game to go 12 friggin' innings. "Brockmire" was on the other channel. "The Purge" was on the other, other channel.

The Pirates weren't ever going to score, and Cutch contributed to that, too.

Cutch was 0-for-5. A big, fat donut. (Which I would eat, because I'm a portly fellow.)

Cutch is 0-for-9 on the year. Also a big, fat donut. (Ditto on the second donut.)

He's Mr. Blutarsky. Zero-point-zero. (I'm fat, and occasionally drunk. But not stupid. #SaveUs166)

Yeah, I know. It's only two games.

Then it'll be only four games.

Then only eight games.

Then it's the end of May.

Then the All-Star break.

Then we'll be talking about the Pirates' prospects.

Then maybe Cutch gets traded, and he might even have a hit by then.

"That home run can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery, because that ball was tattooed!" - Jim Brockmire, 4.5.17.

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