Duquesne is a great March Madness story. 

Jack Gohlke isn’t. 

Gohlke is a balding 24-year-old who spent five years at a Division II school before transferring to Oakland to play one season. He’s college basketball’s Kenny Pickett, the NCAA tournament’s version of Van Wilder. 

Gohlke is the high school grad who keeps hanging around the hallways and crashing the dances, a guy who doesn’t know when to get a J-O-B. 

Gohlke hit 10 three-pointers to help 14 seed Oakland upset 3 seed Kentucky in Thursday’s first round. 

Is that unexpected? Gohlke played against a Kentucky lineup that starts three teenagers. He’s a grown man competing against kids. 

Gohlke will probably be doing the same thing next year at his local YMCA or L.A. Fitness. 

It’s the folly of college athletics, which turned so quickly into being an inferior version of pro sports thanks to NIL money and the transfer portal. 

Oakland next plays ACC tournament champion North Carolina State. Let’s go, Wolfpack. Send this old, bald bastard home. 

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