Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio


Stop Putting Stuff There!! - ATS - 2.20.24

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

After every extended weekend, Tuesday just always feels like the worst (then again, I also got drunk last night so that might have something to do with it.) Still, a Tuesday can't be as bad as the shock a girl had when she showed up for a date and he was not what she suspected. Over on Reddit in AITAH subreddit (Am I the A-Hole for those curious,) a 24 year old mentioned she went on a date with a "28" year old. When she arrived at dinner, he definitely looked different from his pics and explained that they were a few years old. The gap was pretty substantial when she learned that his 28 actually meant 42. He waved off this clearly blatant lie and trust breaking by saying "age is just a number." In response, she said she left her phone in the car, went out to it and took off. After he texted her "where are you?" she replied that she was lied to and not into older guys. While this was a reasonable response and proper assessment of the situation, he wrote back that she was "shallow" and said that's why he doesn't use his real age. Weirdly enough, when she explained this to a friend, the friend said she was rude. While exploring the concept of if age is just a number, why is he lying about it?, Angi offered something even better. Why is this way older man essentially preying on these younger women, he should find someone his age if age is "just a number." This gave way to our Daily Discussion Topic about have you ever ditched someone on a date? Angi explained that she was once on a date with a guy who spent the duration of it crying about his ex. This was not just complaining but also literal tears. Angi was more bothered by the fact that she didn't get to finish her really good soup than the crybaby across from her. Marris explained that he has had plenty of situations where he should have left but since he was a good talker, he had to fill in gaps when there was nothing there. He offered the remedy is to ask for the bill super early and when pressed why he needs to go, say you need to go stand in an alley for no reason. Now that we've heard their horror stories, we moved to the Request Line to get a fill in from the roadies. Jessica met a guy on Tinder and when she arrived at the restaurant, he was a bit drunk and proceeded to get wasted. He hit on their waitress and tried to talk her into a threesome. She discreetly texted her best friend to come up with an excuse to call her so she could dip out. Don met a woman online and they exchanged pics. They decided to meet up at a Denny's but when he arrived, she had no hair and no teeth. He ended up running out the door, picking up a twelve pack and going home. Head Roadie Troy went on a blind date and went to dinner which resulted in the girl playing on her phone the whole time. They went to the movies after and he just left her there. It must have been really awkward then when he ended up unknowingly going out on a date with the woman's sister. Justin was at a 2 floor cocktail club when the girl he was with put her hand on his face, told him to shut up because she was checking his spiritual aura. He ended up faking an illness and just snuck to the first floor to leave. This capped up with a story from Angi who got felt up by a masseuse who gave her an energy massage. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

Other Stuff from Today's Show:

Since this is the technical start of the work week, it would only make sense that I would choose to use a pair of work related stories as part of these notes. While here at Rock 95.5, we have Todd the Taint as our personal overbearing, micro-managing taint of a boss (I dare you to fire me Todd!,) some people seem to have it much worse. A person posted a boss deciding to get into their personal business by questioning bathroom usage. Apparently, this guy's version of Todd feels that he needs to be kept abreast on what the employee is doing in the bathroom. In fact, he has outright asked for a doctor's note that suggests the employee has bladder problems, an issue the employee never claimed to have but the boss has created as a head cannon narrative. The boss seems to think that too many bathroom breaks are being taken in four hours but the employee tends to drink a lot of water and the like so the power of his bladder compels him. According to the boss, he is taking 1 to 4 bathroom breaks per shift and now he wants a log of what is occurring. When he asked why he has to share this clearly private information, the boss said he has every right to ask because these are paid bathroom breaks. Obviously, Marris who works in management pointed out that you're allowed to go to the bathroom so everything about this is just sus. This boss would also never make it at iHeart where bathroom breaks are like 100 a shift and there are three bathrooms to monitor including the mens, womens and family. The family one is the one where people poop because the other two have 99 people in them discussing the latest gossip or Angi is in there crying on the toilet. Marris kind of felt for the employee as he spends his 18 hour days at iHeart drinking a ton of coffee, tea and water. As for Angi, you best not ask her why she went to the bathroom fifteen times because she's a woman and she has needs like putting on makeup, making calls and shopping on Amazon.

Speaking of work, a great company is paying their workers to hang out with each other. A $3,500,000,000 security company has come up with a really awesome way to get everyone to get along. The plan is referred to as 3-3-3 and is really simple in concept. 3 employees get to expense $30 if they go and hang out/get drinks together after 3 P.M. The caveat here is that they also need to take a picture to showcase this unity (which in turn can be exploited to show how great each person's working/social relationship is.) The company figures that hanging out together allows discussion of both relevant and work related business and ideas. While this is a great idea and does build a sense of community among co-workers, we would need to do things a little different here on the show. See, we start at 5 A.M. so Marris and Angi had suggestions. Marris said ours should start at Noon and Angi thinks 5-5-5 is a better fit, if anything because she wants the extra cash to blow on spicy margs and probably because she needs a nap after the show to not pass out during the Taco Tuesday platter offering.

Finally, it's National Love Your Pet Day and as we know, Marris just loves his murderous mean gecko Syphillis. Angi though has two dogs (who are blind, have dementia and probably won't see the end of the year) but she (like myself) loves dogs. I guess that's why the list presented today was of the most affectionate dogs.

1. Great Dane - this horse sized beast is not one you should have in an apartment because it's tail will destroy everything. Lest you forget it loves to lap ride (it's a horse) and it also takes horse sized poops.

2. Labrador Retriever

3. Pitbull - Not the sing obviously though maybe, these are also 80 pound lap dogs.

4. Newfoundland - This is a huge hairy dog that is most comparable to a Saint Bernard.

5. Golden Retriever

6. Boxer

7. Pugs - Marris is repulsed by the cute little clown dog but Angi had one once and agreed it is amazing.

I should probably add a well known fact that Marris hates dogs. He blames being allergic but it's really because he hates fun and happiness. That's why he has that rude ass gecko who hates him and ironically, he feels the same about her.

Request Wars 3.0

Current Champion: Angi (2x)

Angi's Song Choice: “Dig" by Mudvayne

Marris' Song Choice: "BLACKOUT" by Turnstile

Winner: Angi

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: A 73 year old Australian Man

This man was really looking to get a charge and spark up his love life so he ended up shoving several button batteries into his pee hole. Unfortunately his momentary lapse in judgement led him to get necrosis of the urethra. We're assuming that he now pees like a garden hose, all flailing about everywhere.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"How do you wake up and decide to go antiquing and shove things up your ass?" - Angi

"I gotta go stand in this alley for absolutely no reason." - Marris (on how he ditches a date)

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