Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio


Too Small Holes - ATS - 2.28.24

cement texture background

Photo: NOPPAKHOON2016 / iStock / Getty Images

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

Well, it seems we all survived hailtornadolightningstormamageddn last night so we march forward into Hump Day waiting for the weekend to bring us some more great weather to indulge in. Since we are looking at the future (and by we I mean me as I need a weekend to recover from the past weekend,) let's take it one step further. For our Daily Discussion Topic, we talked about how the Intuitive Machine's Odysseus lander touched down on the moon but did not come alone. With it was a time capsule and that immediately had us asking, what was the point? We go to the Moon for research and now we're littering it with more trash. Anyway, in the capsule was a bunch of music including Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, Elvis and Janis Joplin (I hope the aliens own a record player.) The thing was, this felt more like an archaic time capsule because it was an archive of older music, photos, art and human culture. We here at The Angi Taylor Show feel like we too should have sent a time capsule to the moon but filled it with current day things. That's where the roadies came in on the Request Line but before we get to them, let's see what Angi and Marris felt needed to be included. Angi said a covid test and a mask is a must to teach of the pandemic which was one of the most defining moments of our lifetime. Marris said throw in a Stanley cup with some Malört in it. Whereas Stanley feels like a passing fad, the inclusion would seem silly though. However, alcohol is always appreciated but Malört would definitely eat through the Stanley. New York Chris (fka Prison Tattoo) said that money should be tossed into the capsule because physical currency seems to be on its way out (we're totally headed for In Timedystopia, aren't we?) As for my choice, I feel like clips of this show after 9 A.M. would truly showcase to the aliens what they're missing here on Earth (and probably keep them off it.) Other given examples were a MAGA hat (gross,) an iPhone (Marris wants an Android with it) and a VR headset though the tech would definitely be outdated. Onward now to the roadies, starting with Marissa who said Stanley tumblers as well because she doesn't understand the rampant desire. Angi offered though that Marissa would be paying for all the ones stuffed in the capsule because we make iHeart money. Raul said newspapers referencing the death of Queen Elizabeth. Angi rambled on about the year you're born newspapers like anyone needs them, who even reads newspapers anymore? Kenny said a McDonald's cheeseburger because in 50 years, it will still be edible. Guy said Donald Trump needs to go in it with a covid mask and while we're at it, we need to blow the rocket carrying the time capsule up. Maggie said Matchbox cars of Tesla and Prius since we'll all be using flying cars eventually. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

Other Stuff from Today's Show:

Since we survived the storms last night, most of us are feeling pretty lucky. Angi and Marris added that outside of that, they both feel pretty lucky. Personally, I'm hit or miss depending on the day but 1 in 5 people feel they are in an unlucky phase. Angi pointed out that coincidence, hard work and dedication is more likely to put you in a proper place as opposed to luck. Still the average for unlucky events is 543 a year which brings it to about 10 a week. As for the list of unlucky things, these are the most common ones people feel.

- Losing something: Angi loses everything from her keys, phone and glasses to her mind.

- Stepping in dog poop: Just the absolute worst feeling.

- Spilling things on yourself: Angi does this a ton and this is why Marris will never wear fully white clothes.

- Hitting every red light: Angi drives Western and hits every red light every morning though she'll blow through them if no one is looking. Marris hits them every time he is late.

- Getting a flat tire: Angi is the queen of flat tires.

- Getting splashed with water from a car: Angi did this to a guy on Ashland "by accident." She soaked him to the bone and he was pissed. Marris triple tapped an already dual soaked guy on Cicero.

- Losing contests: All that money Angi lost on scratchies and don't get me started on Employee of the Quarter.

- Falling in public: She will laugh at you unless you are old. Mind you, she fell in Liquor Barn and I fell in the Mariano's parking lot. Meanwhile, Marris caught a lady mid fall.

- The restaurant is out of something: Looking at you McDonald's ice cream machine.

- Having no umbrella in the rain: This happened to Angi so often she now has a store's worth of umbrellas in her car.

Another fun fact learned here was that 3 in 4 people have been pooped on by a bird but this is actually good luck. Angi once had a bird poop on her in New York and the next day, she got her job at iHeart Chicago (sounds like a curse if you ask me.)

Seeing as wild and crazy was at the forefront of most of these notes, it would only make sense that Angi used AngiMD and found out ... good news for once?! Instead of making her crazy and thinking she was dying ... again, she instead found some good news this morning. When she sleeps (or her version of sleeping occurs,) Angi tends to have 8,000 dreams. She does not get luxury sleep due to her apnea and between 8 P.M. and 3 A.M., she will constantly wake up (usually hourly.) The thing is, this lack of sleep helps her to remember her dreams and last night, she had a wild sex one. It turns out, the way she sleeps is the cause of her dreams. If she sleeps on one side, it's sex dreams and fun, if she sleeps on the other side, it's nightmares. For anyone that is curious before we reveal which side is which, Marris is a left side sleeper. Anyway, according to AngiMD, people who sleep on their right side are more prone to nightmares. People who sleep on their left side or stomach (aka me) are more likely to have sex or fun dreams. The issue here is that much like a fish out of water, Angi flip flops in bed all night. Toss in Jay the Straight's restless legs and it's just a mess. Still, Angi is going to make a resolution to sleep on her right side from now on. Marris, on the other hand, figures he has to choose between settling heartburn or having a hard....

Finally, before the Super Bowl was shown in Germany, another football game was shown before it. This one though was wildly different from what was to follow because it was football ... on ice! It is done in a hockey rink, has no skates and as you can imagine, running on ice is wild. There is tons of falling and with the arena half the size of a normal game, it's like arena football on ice on hilarity. Just discussing it made Marris want to see it really bad and he is already hooked. He's apparently not the only one as people are now clamoring for ice football. One of the things that also seems to get people pumped is unlike the No Fun League, there are not that many restrictions in place so you get injuries and cheerleaders! It's almost like a cartoon and the lack of helmets is just an extra hilarity. Basically, imagine football mixed with Wipeout and I expect a season of it to appear on Peacock soon. 

Request Wars 3.0 

Current Champion: Angi (1x)

Angi's Song Choice: “Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction

Marris' Song Choice: "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour

Winner: Marris

10 O' Clock Toast


Samsung (later altered to Angi's Tight Holes)

Samsung has a fitness ring coming out and Angi came for it because she is a hateful Apple sheep. However, this toast took a turn for the wild when Angi started talking about her tight (ear) holes and lamented the loss of her AirPods. We may end up with an OnlyFans soon where Angi sticks things in her (ear) holes to see if they fit because she's so tight.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"Don't sue the CTU, get your OnlyFans going teachers." - Angi

"My holes are really small, you guys." - Angi

"All my holes are so tight." - Angi

Sponsored Content

Sponsored Content