Eager to get me back in the clubhouse for the first time since Jason Kendall ruled through fear and intimidation (but mostly by being an annoying douchebag), the Pirates have given me my own locker.

It’s prime real estate, too: Right between Cutch and J-Hay. I like it. I’m not sure they will.

(This is actually from a personalized ticket promo the Pirates sent me. And it is about time to visit the Cambria Club.)

My number shouldn’t be 15. It should be 166. #SuperGenius

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