GET A GRIP, SPOT MONKEYS

(Note: Language on video NSFW!)

Pro wrestling has become too dangerous for the participants’ good. Marks disguised as wrestlers eschew storylines and character development in favor of high-risk moves as they metaphorically (and sometimes literally) beg critics to give their match a five-star rating.

You can’t spend those stars at the grocery store, gang.

Anyway, Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat had a dozen or so five-star matches while taking minimal risk. That’s because they knew how to work.

This lunacy hit critical mass at New Japan Pro Wrestling’s G1 Special at San Francisco’s Cow Palace this past Saturday.

“Switchblade” Jay White suplexed Juice Robinson into the guard rail in front of the announcers’ table. The rail wasn’t properly secured, and the collision knocked over play-by-play icon Jim Ross, resulting in Ross being hospitalized with painful injuries to his ribs and lungs. Ross was working for AXS TV.

Ross didn’t know the spot was coming. The color commentator, MMA badass Josh Barnett, was legit upset and had to be restrained after leaving the broadcast position to confront White. (New Japan will probably turn that into an angle.)

If you want to do stupid, unnecessary spots that might leave you crippled upon reaching middle age (or sooner), feel free. It’s your body, so it’s your business.

But endangering a 66-year-old co-worker is the very height of being unprofessional. Ross had to cancel three appearances because of his injuries, so money got taken out of his pocket.

White and Robinson should be ashamed, but I doubt they are. It’s all about chasing those five stars. If it turns a legend into roadkill, so be it.

The spot monkeys need to get a ***king grip.

 
Mark Madden

Mark Madden

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