Mark Madden

Mark Madden

The Super Genius of Pittsburgh Sports.Full Bio



The first lesson of shootout 101 is: CONTROL THE PUCK.

But on Monday, having to score to keep Boston’s shootout chances alive at Philadelphia, Marchand whiffed on his approach. Well, almost. He slightly touched the puck, and any contact is enough to officially begin (and end) a shootout attempt. Bruins lose.

Marchand is a great player. But he’s a cheap-shot rat, and opposing fans don’t like him. So he got excoriated on Twitter after his faux pas.

Marchand was petty enough to fire back, tweeting:

Of course, all the ex-NHLers in the hockey media who like to pretend they’re still on a team raucously enjoyed Marchand’s retort, which was maybe a 2 (on a 10 scale) in terms of being funny. OH, MARCHAND PUT HIM IN A BODY BAG!

Absorbing a subpar level of Twitter abuse is in no way as embarrassing as ending a crucial shootout attempt with the puck still on the center dot. I could try that a million times in my driveway and not ***k it up like Marchand.

Take the L.

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