Mark Madden

Mark Madden

The Super Genius of Pittsburgh Sports.Full Bio

 

VIAGRA ON A POLE MATCH!

“Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, "This was their finest hour.” – Winston Churchill, 6.18.40.

That might have been their finest hour.

But during my brief tenure as a color analyst with World Championship Wrestling, 7.31.00 was mine.

WCW Monday Nitro. TNT network. Shane Douglas vs. Billy Kidman. VIAGRA ON A POLE MATCH. The loser had to take Viagra and go into the locker room of the luscious and scantily-clad Nitro Girls.

Shouldn’t the winner get to do that?

It was a silly concept, so I let the sexual innuendo come thick and fast. (HAW, HAW, HAW! See? I still got it.)

It was the closest I came to breaking Tony Schiavone, my esteemed broadcast partner. (Scott Hudson was already broken.) But Tony’s made of sterner stuff, as he currently displays calling matches that make sense (well, most of them) for All Elite Wrestling on TNT.(Hudson's a millionaire who has Ben Roethlisberger for a neighbor on that lake in Georgia.)

BTW, I swiped the concept of saying "yikes" from Hudson, and I think Pat McAfee picked it up from me. Circle of life.

I got briefly reprimanded for not calling the match seriously enough. My reply, “It’s a Viagra on a pole match, not Rogers vs. O’Connor at Comiskey Park. How was I supposed to call it?” Eric Bischoff: “You know what? You’re absolutely right.”

That's why Eric is my favorite boss ever. (The match was Vince Russo’s idea, not Eric’s.)

Today is the 20-year anniversary, so watch and enjoy. It’s the ultimate example of working stiff. HAW, HAW, HAW!


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