Mark Madden

Mark Madden

The Super Genius of Pittsburgh Sports.Full Bio

 

“COCAINE BEAR": GET IN LINE

The Steelers won, but so what? They’re 4-7. 

Everybody’s main concern should be hyping the movie “Cocaine Bear,” which gets released Feb. 24. It’s about a black bear that ingests a duffel bag full of cocaine, then goes on a killing spree while gacked to the gills. 

Even better, it’s based on a true story. It’s like Pablo Escobar, only with more bears and slightly less killing. 

The movie poster is out. It should win an Academy Award for best poster ever. Big bear, explosion of blow.

The catchphrase for “Cocaine Bear” is “Get in line.” 

LINE, GEDDIT? HAW, HAW, HAW, HAW! 

Also: "Don't coke the bear." It just gets better and better.

“Cocaine Bear” is the late Ray Liotta’s last movie, and very likely his best. 

If there’s a better concept for a movie, I can’t think of it. Pass me the vial and cross your fingers… 


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